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However, after witnessing what the Queen went through just a while ago in the bathroom, her heart was restless. She first wanted to go back to the chambers and make sure that the Queen was doing okay.

“Martha, yes, come in.”

Martha heard the Queen’s frail voice from behind the door after she knocked.

The moment the Queen saw Martha, she asked, “Did you deliver my message to Percy?”

Martha gave a nod and replied, “Yes. He personally left for Silver Keep to fetch all the herbs. I will prepare the tonic as soon as Mr. Percy returns.”

Anastasia nodded drowsily.

Noticing that the Queen was feeling sleepy, Martha immediately asked, “Your Majesty, shall I bring lunch for you? You may take an afternoon nap after eating something.”

Anastasia pinched the bridge of her nose and gently rubbed her eyes. It wasn’t that she was feeling sleepy. She was just feeling really tired for no reason.

.....

But she thought that Martha’s suggestion was a good one. She could at least forget all the things that were running rampant in her mind, which is if she successfully fell asleep in the first place.

“Yes, you can bring my lunch,” Anastasia said while rubbing her neck. And she also quickly added, “And… I am feeling a little cold today.” She pointed at the fireplace at her side and asked, “Will you light up a nice fire here?”

“Certainly, Your Majesty.” Martha gave a bow and left the chamber again.

Martha later came back while being accompanied by Holly. Martha was carrying a tray of food while Holly was carrying some firewood and other things required to light a fire.

“Oh, Holly!” Anastasia gave a weak smile when she saw Holly trying to hide behind Martha.

When the Queen noticed her, Holly quickly came forward and bowed. “Greetings, Your Majesty,” she said in a low voice.

Anastasia hummed and asked Holly, “How have you been? I hope you haven’t taken it to your heart that I was angry at you.”

“I wouldn’t dare,” Holly replied while keeping her head low. She then tiptoed past Martha and began to put the firewood inside the fireplace.

Anastasia was getting subtle headaches because she had been thinking quite a lot today. She took a deep breath and asked Martha, “Pass me the water first.”

After gulping down the whole glass of water, she went and sat in front of the table where Martha had carefully laid everything down.

Martha went to help Holly while Anastasia grabbed the knife and fork and began to dig in. Although she wasn’t that hungry, she didn’t want to let the good food go to waste. And she also didn’t want to starve herself and cause some other health problems.

By the time Anastasia was done with her food, the room felt much warmer because of the fire. Holly had already taken her leave while Martha was quietly waiting for the Queen to finish her lunch.

When Martha came forward to gather the empty bowls and plates, Anastasia looked at her and asked, “Is Tilla doing okay? I forgot to ask Holly earlier.”

Martha gave a reassuring smile and replied, “Yes, she is doing fine. Holly told me that the bruises aren’t looking that bad because of the immediate treatment that Tilla got.”

Anastasia sighed in relief. She wiped her mouth and hands and then said while patting her back with her fist, “I think I will take a nap. You may take a short break. I bet you haven’t had your lunch yet.”

Martha wasn’t sure if leaving the Queen alone was a good idea. So, she asked, “Shall I send Holly to wait on you while I have my lunch? Tilla doesn’t require constant care since her bruises aren’t that bad.”

Anastasia was planning to get rid of the diary while she was alone. Thus, she promptly shook her head and denied it. “No. I want to be left alone for a few hours.”

Martha pursed her lips in worry. However, since the Queen directly ordered that she wanted to be left alone, she couldn’t force the Queen to do otherwise. “I will be back after a while then,” Martha said before picking up the tray and leaving the room.

Anastasia got up and slowly walked towards the fireplace. She crouched down in front of the fireplace, very close to the burning flames. The fire was burning so hot that her body began to sweat in an instant.

She abruptly got up from her feet and went to her bedroom to grab her diary.

She came back and crouched down in front of the fire again. She raised her hands towards the fire so as to drop the notebook there. However, instead of letting it go, she clutched her diary even more tightly.

In her diary, Anastasia had written about so many beautiful moments that she had spent together with Caspian that she felt as if she was going to burn those memories along with the diary.

In the end, she clenched her teeth and retreated. She rested her back on the sofa and sat down on the carpet. She then looked at the diary in her hand and mumbled to herself, “I think I should read everything one last time before turning this into ashes.”

In truth, she was simply not willing to destroy the diary where she had written about all her memorable and wonderful moments. This was her way of delaying herself.

Anastasia quickly opened her diary and began to go through the contents, right from the very first page.

She couldn’t help but laugh when she read how she was terrified of Caspian in the beginning. Then as she kept on reading, her eyes were getting damper and damper.

She was reminded of all the beautiful moments and her true feelings. Even the dullest of things that she did for Caspian made her day joyful. She had never been this happier. But the guilt of building that happiness on a pile of lies was preventing her from properly reminiscing those moments.

And to add to that, she was already set on making Caspian hate her. That was her way of protecting Caspian from going berserk in the future.

Streams of tears began to roll down her eyes as she went through her happy memories. She was feeling utterly bitter.

Before she could burn those memories though, the warmth from the fire was also making her sleepy. And she gave in to her sleepy state as she pressed her diary against her chest.

Martha came to check in on the Queen after an hour. When there was no answer, she had dared to open the door to see what the Queen was up to. She was worried that the Queen would try and end her life again if she was left unchecked.

But when she saw that the Queen was fast asleep by the fireplace, she covered the Queen’s legs with a blanket and quietly left the room.

By the time Anastasia woke up after a couple of hours, the fire had already died down.

“Ugh!” Anastasia sighed when her eyes fell on firewood that had completely turned into ashes. “I was supposed to burn this!” she looked at the diary and exclaimed to herself.

Right at that time, she heard a knock on the door. Martha had come back to check on the Queen again.

Anastasia hastily got up and tried to hide her diary in a panic thinking that it was Caspian who was at her door. Since she had just woken up from her deep sleep, she forgot that Caspian wasn’t at the castle and that he wouldn’t be coming to sleep with her tonight.

In her panic, the first place that her eyes fell on was the painting. And without thinking, she lifted the painting and shoved the diary behind it. After making sure that the diary wouldn’t drop, she finally cleared her throat and said while looking at the closed door, “Come in.”